Second baby

After more than a year of discussing and planning for a second baby, and 6 months of actively trying to get pregnant, I am really happy to say that I am! 13 weeks pregnant!

It has not been easy this time round. Little Bambi was a breeze, she just turned up, exactly at the time when we decided we were ready for her. But this second baby definitely took its time. I really wanted to get pregnant last year, but in between three big weddings between our closest friends and Dopey my brother (spread across 3 different locations - KL, Gold Coast, Melbourne and KL again), plus a husband that loved partying and celebrating bucks nights, pre-wedding and post-wedding drinks, all I can say was getting pregnant last year was clearly not possible.

Even at the start of this year had its challenges - another wedding of a friend got in the way. Again with Grumpy celebrating a few weekends of binge drinking with his mates. To make matters a lot worse, not long after, Grumpy's best mate from KL came to Melbourne for a holiday. Did I mention that the binge drinking never stopped? Yes of course its all his fault. I was finding it very frustrating.

One thing I did do differently most recently was I used an ovulation kit, and I think maybe that was the winning ticket for us. We are very lucky that we did not have to resort to IVF or anything like that. I missed my period in early May, and I did a home pregnancy test on Mothers Day, and got a positive result!

Little Bambi is very excited to become a big sister. I knew she felt a bit left out when most of her friends had a younger sibling to play with. She wants to name the baby "Dory". Which Sydney Boy said "It is a nice name".. "For a fish".

From the moment of the positive test result at home up until today, it has been a series of continuous blood tests, GP visits, and 2 ultrasound sessions. I am so blessed that everything has been going really well so far. I get very nervous and anxious with the whole pregnancy thing, not only because it was a long journey to get to this point, but because pregnancy loss is much more visible on social media. Here is baby at the 12 week ultrasound - hello there!

Bed time now.

xx

Jules

Bravest Kid

The weather forecast for today said it would be fucking miserable. And really, it was, fucking miserable. It rained non-stop, the wind was so strong, and it was freezing! Yet, I dragged Little Bambi and my mother with me on the train at 7am to the city. I put on the thickest jacket for Little Bambi, along with a beanie to cover her head. We arrived at my office before 8am, and they waited for me in the foyer, while I was upstairs trying to do a bit of work. Then at 9am, we hopped on a tram to our regular dentist for Little Bambi's appointment on Collins Street. 

Once she was lying down on the chair, she watched The Secret Life of Pets from the ceiling. The dentist put on a small mask on her nose for the happy gas, and she was breathing it in, cool as a cucumber. I, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck. The minute I saw the needle for the local anaesthetic, I was dying. And it was not even for me. The dentist asked her to put her hands below her bottom, which she did, and then the anaesthetic was injected to her upper jaw. The dentist did one filling first, then she found a second gap next to the tooth, and asked for my permission to do the second one. Believe me, when your child has a tube attached on her nose (that connects to a gas tank) with a numb face, lying next to a dentist, with dental instruments attached to her hands, asking if they can also fill the second hole, my options are... wait, there are no options. The procedure took forever... I could not bear it, yet Little Bambi stayed calm, happily watching TV on the ceiling. After 45 minutes, we were done, and I was so relieved. She sat up, saying she felt funny in her face. The dentist told her that her teeth and cheeks were having a bit of a rest. 

We walked out of the dentist, with a $610 bill. It certainly was the most expensive 45 minutes I've ever paid for 4.5 year old kid. Ever. Our private health covered more than half of the bill, but still, I had to pay $250. Immediately after that, I walked both mum and Little Bambi to Flinders Street station, said goodbye, where they went back home in the cold rain, and me back to work. My mum had a lunch appointment after that, so she dropped Little Bambi off to childcare. I was so worried about Little Bambi, fearing that she would start feeling some pain as the anaesthetic wears off. However, she went back to childcare surprisingly, happy, pain free, and not even remembering she went to the dentist. Everyone tells me how expensive this place is, which I am aware of, yet I think it was worth my money if she walks out without being scarred from a terrible dentist experience. 

I still remember when I was a kid, my dad would hold my hand, while a dentist extracted a tooth, or install braces. But today, this kid, was the bravest kid I know. I love her so much.

Melbourne

On Friday, I went to work, like any normal day. I had a busy morning and my last meeting ended at 12.30pm. Grumpy said lets have lunch, but I said "No! I'm heading to the gym". Then I added "But.. you can be a gentleman and grab sushi for me. When I am done, I will come and meet you". He agreed.

My usual gym routine during my lunch breaks go for about 1 hr 15 mins, which is made up of my usual 30-minute treadmill run followed by a quick shower, getting dressed, then blow dry my hair, touch up some make up etc. I got a text from Grumpy around 1pm saying "I'm hungry I'm going to get sushi already". And so I cut short my gym time by 10 mins, and finished at exactly 1.30pm. I stepped out of the gym, which was Fitness First on Bourke St Mall (corner of Elizabeth Street). Grumpy was seated on a bench in front of Myer, waiting for me. So I crossed the tram tracks, found him, sat down, and we just enjoyed our sushi's together, under the sun. We heard helicopters above us, and I said "maybe its the tennis?". The time was 1.40pm, and the next thing we knew, a maroon car was driving right before us, only 25 metres away, driving straight into people, on the foot path, and I saw three bodies fly up in the air, and then landing on the ground - motionless. I screamed! I screamed "FUCK!!!!" and Grumpy shielded me, worried there was more coming. Police chase after the maroon car. I saw bodies on the ground, one at the entrance of Block Arcade, one at Cotton On, and one, exactly where I stood only minutes before, at the entrance of my gym. I said to Grumpy, "No one could live through that right? Not when you are hit at such speed, and fly up to the air, and somersault and land on the ground like that..?" It could have been me, because that is exactly where I stood, before I walked to meet Grumpy.

Moments later, Bourke St Mall was in utter mayhem. We decided to head back to work, where it was safe. We ran up on Little Bourke St. When I got to my office, the building was already in lock down mode. Only employees of the bank were allowed to enter the building.

I got to my floor, and my whole body was shaking. My bosses brought me into a room, and I told them exactly what I saw. My office is not far from Bourke St Mall/ Myer, and workmates said they counted up to 10-15 bodies lying on the ground, covered in a pool of blood. My body was shaking for nearly an hour. After that, my tummy was in cramps. I felt sick. 

A counselling session was set up at the ground floor auditorium, which I was asked to attend. I did, and was advised to: (1) talk about it, (2) be emotional if I need to be (3) seek further help if I need it. Most people at work were incredibly supportive. Workmates came to talk to me and asked if I was okay. My friends were texting me and ringing if I was okay. Then I decided I should ring my parents to let them know. I was pretty much in tears when telling my mum what had happened. She said "It is usually something we read in the news or watch on TV, not something that really happened right in our own city, in front our eyes". The entire Melbourne city was shaken. Our hearts were broken. We saw pictures of a broken pram, lying on a street. Innocent people, innocent children. Dopey was in Thailand, and he messaged me "Is there a terrorist attack?"

My head was trying to make sense of the trauma. I was thinking, how different things would have been if Grumpy did not meet me for lunch? If I was not rushed by him, I would have carried on with gym, taken my time, like normal, and stepped out at exactly 1.40pm-1.45pm, which was when the evil person struck. Or even, what if Grumpy met me after gym, and decided we would just eat at our desks and not at the bench, meaning we would be walking back to my office together first, along Bourke St.. where the lunatic then drove along after Bourke St Mall, to continue ramming into people. Maybe both of us would have been run down. Also, we would have been facing the same direction where he was heading, meaning if we were not paying too much attention to our surroundings, we would not have known the attacker was coming from behind. If things were different, who knows, either one of us, or both of us, would never have seen our Little Bambi ever again. Did I give her a hug and a kiss that morning before I left the house? 

Sad.

Good night,

Jules

Six Days Into the New Year

First week into 2017 and already, it feels like forever!

I started work immediately after New Years Day, but Grumpy stayed home an extra week to look after Little Bambi as her creche is still closed. Grumpy took her to watch Sing at the movies, visits to the park to practise cycling her new bike (from Santa), there were two playdates with friends (much to Grumpy's dismay - put it this way, he is not a fan of playdates with 4 year old kids) and today a trip to the city to meet me for lunch, followed by a visit to the Melbourne Museum. Overall, Grumpy did a great job, keeping her occupied. At the end of  today, I asked Little Bambi, "Which was the best part of today?" to which she said "There was no best part, mum, because you were not there at the museum with me". Such simple words yet enough to pierce me right in the heart!

Work has been fairly quiet with most of senior management away. My two other team mates, Miss Narcissist and Mr Egoistic, are both around, and I swear, they have both been doing my head in. As we are all peers in the team, I find everyone constantly trying to outdo each other. Because I am female, Miss Narcissist views me, personally, as a threat, and on the other hand, Mr Egoistic treats females like second class citizens. Yes it is great working with these wonderful people. Also, the team eagerly awaits our new manager who starts next Monday.

This week we were also notified of a family friend who is interested with renting our one bedroom apartment for their son who will be studying at Monash University this year. There are various factors Grumpy and I had to consider, but the most important factor to me, was that we can use this property to put Little Bambi in the school that we want (that comes with school zoning restrictions).

Dopey's permanent move back to Malaysia, and gifted me with the joys of running all sorts of errands for him this week, from returning his Foxtel box to organising for his car service, paying for car registration, insurance, etc.

Little Bambi had her first visit for the year to the Royal Children's Hospital this week as part of her blind clinical trial for peanut allergy - this requires a post of its own!

Today I had to get a blood test today due to previous test results which showed I was low in thyroid levels. I have been taking Thyroxine since, so am hoping for the test results to come back with more positive news.

Tomorrow we attend our neighbour's wedding, with Little Bambi doing her 3rd stint as flower girl.

And finally, to make my nights appear even longer than they should be, I am glued to Netflix dramas. Grumpy and I just finished watching Narcos, and now we are on to The Crown.

How is it possible that so many things can happen in just 6 days into the New Year?

Little Bambi with her friends playing dress up

Good night!
With love, Jules