Second Week at Work

I can't believe I'm already on my second week at work. How did I go?

It was not too bad. I am very fortunate to have my mum here, as she does most of the house chores, on top of looking after Baby Bear. I really just have to go to work, come home, give baby a bath, feed him and that's it. I did miss him and Little Bambi a lot. 

My first week at work was easy, yet it felt busy. Catching up with workmates mainly. I have a new boss now, and he is nice. However we still have some time to build up our working relationship. Plenty of new faces at work - some friendly, others not quite. Which is fine. 

Going back to work did not affect me too much, as my mind was mainly preoccupied with our housing situation. We did our first inspection last Friday, and there was not much to it, apart from looking out for little marks around the walls etc. The biggest issue we had was our gas lines. It was still not connected at the time, and the provider could not give us a date. It was so frustrating, and Grumpy was trying to prepare me for further delays. However, we were surprised with the news yesterday evening that the gas has been installed, and so today I received the final invoice for the completion of the house. Next steps for us will be to organise settlement. Fingers crossed we can move in on the 1st of December.

Tomorrow night is my work Christmas party. It is usually a lot of fun, however this time round, I'll be carrying my breast pump with me!

Time go pump!
Good night.
Xx
Jules

Capturing the moment

27 days! I am running out of time! Lots of reminders today about my maternity leave coming to an end...

Grumpy is out again tonight and I find myself taking the quiet time to write on my blog.

It was Little Bambi and myself at dinner just before. We were watching 'The Block', and she just loves telling me what she thinks of the contestants and all that is happening. AGAIN, it flashed before me, and tears filled my eyes. Capturing the moment with her, just us two, before things change. My mum comes end of the month to help us out, then I go back to work, then its Christmas, and a whole bunch of guests coming over to visit. 

When I picked Little Bambi up from school today, we bumped into my boss who's kids also go to the same school. He says to me "Will I see you in about three weeks Jules?" Yes thanks for reminding me! OMG...

Little Bambi's school fair is coming up, and I have put my hand up to contribute something at the bake sale. I tested out a special brownie recipe today, from a friend. It is a family secret recipe, and I cannot believe she just emailed it to me, that easily. 

And so while Little Bear and I were out food shopping today, I decided to give him a piece of free fruit to keep him occupied. 

Look at that face!

And when we came home, I fed him his lunch first. Then I usually let him have a play while it was my turn to lunch, and as usual, he turns the whole place into a mess. He pulls out all the books from the shelf, but then I caught him reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Haha we read together every night before bed, and it just goes to show how smart little babies are - his ability to recognise a book and turn the pages. I will miss moments like these once I head back to work.

Time to hit the breast pump!

Good night!

Xx

Jules

Luck

31 days to go. Too soon!

Ahhh tomorrow is Friday, and we survived the first week of Little Bambi being back at school. Term 4, also the final term, where things just fly past, and before I know it, its already Christmas! I had an amazing time with Little Bambi at home during the past two weeks of school holidays. Baby Bear had a ball having his sister at home with him. One of the highlights for her, and me, would be her 2 day junior basketball camp. I was very worried when I signed her up for this camp, considering she is not athletic at all, and was feeling very nervous about the whole thing. However Grumpy and I agreed that she should at least try out different sports, to give things a go. Thankfully, she enjoyed her camp so much, she wants to return the next school holidays. She made us so proud!

Basketball camp

Baby Bear is now 9 months old, and he has been driving us insane every night this week! He was unwell two weeks ago, with a cold and cough, but he is now back to normal, and yet he wakes up at least twice each night. For the life of me, I can't figure it out. He eats well, he is still exclusively breast fed, takes his morning and afternoon naps, and still wakes up at night! Come on baby, will you give your mama and papa a break? Despite all that, he gives us the most beautiful smiles. Grumpy and I constantly compare notes on how gorgeous he is, and that makes up for all the sleepless nights. 

Baby Bear at 9 months

On a different note, our housing situation has not been the best. We were hopeful that the new house will be complete very soon... as in end of this month or early November. Unfortunately that won't be the case. The builders keep saying before Christmas, which is still a few weeks away (although I know it will be very soon). I was feeling so down. We are so close to the finish line, and yet it feels like its so far away. My mum arrives end of this month to come and live with us, and most importantly to help me care for Baby Bear while I go back to work. I feel bad that she will have to live in such crappy conditions - stuck in a small cramped one bedroom apartment for god knows how many weeks. 

I meet my new boss next week for coffee - to discuss my return. Wish me luck, because I need lots of it!

Good night.

xx

Jules

Things Will Get Better

46 days to go, time is running so fast. 

Last week, I was actually feeling ready to go back to work. I am not sure why, but it was the final days of Term 3 at school, perhaps I was feeling a bit tired from doing school runs for the past 10 weeks, packing lunches, laundry, etc that I said to myself, this stay-at-home-mum thing isn't for me. 

And then, Little Bambi started school holidays this week, and today, at dinner, it was just us two (Grumpy is out with the boys, and Baby Bear fast asleep). I realised how much I've missed her, the beautiful soul that she is, and how much I love her. Words can't describe it, but she means the world to me. I haven't written too much about her lately, but things have not been easy for her. I feel sorry for her, I know she is still struggling to find her place in school and in our new temporary home. I know these things take time. Things will get better, baby. I promise.

Little Bambi, Baby Bear and I went in to the city today. We took the train in, visited the aquarium, followed by lunch with Grumpy. Grumpy took us to this burger place, which was not kid friendly at all (of course!). They didn't even have real chairs - only bar stools. And they played loud rock/metal music. Just perfect!

Us at the aquarium

Little Bambi at the burger place

Oh my, time to hit the breast pump.

Good night!

xx

Jules

Maternity Leave

56 days! And the countdown begins...

To the end of my maternity leave, and back to the workforce as a full time working mum. Only this time, with two kids. And soon, a bigger home than before.

Maternity leave is different this time round - as it revolves around Little Bambi's school drop offs and pick ups. And catching up on sleep where possible. Baby Bear is 8 and a half months now, and still wakes up at least twice each night. Now I know what sleep deprivation feels like!

We travelled back to Malaysia at the end of June for three weeks. It was an interesting holiday, travelling with a young baby. It was a really good trip, everyone had the best time, and most importantly, we were able to spend lots of time with the family. Going away during winter was a great escape from the cold. When we returned, the winter did not bother us too much, and before you know it - its SPRING!

My fave pic with both my babies in Melaka.

Our living arrangements have been very different this time round. We sold our home last year, and moved out in February this year. We moved in to a one bedroom apartment, yes, crazy I know, while building a new home. I'll write more soon about our new home. It is very exciting times ahead! We have been slowly buying new furniture etc, but I can't wait to get both the kids settled in a proper home and not in a tiny shoebox. 

When I returned to work with Little Bambi, it was terrible. I had the worst experience at work, but that somehow was a life changing moment for me. Looking back now, I realise I will not let such a situation upset me like that ever again. It has made me stronger and also it has taught me to be a lot smarter about things. Haha..and while I finished work last year before giving birth to Baby Bear in a really good position, I know that good things don't last forever, so I will not go back expecting to be all rosey and perfect.

Xx
Jules

4 Months Old - Baby Bear

Baby Bear is now 4 months old! By this age, he really should be sleeping through the night, but no, he still wakes me up at least once, usually around 3.30am for a feed. While I have started to get used to waking up at this time, he has not been too difficult to manage in the wee hours of the morning. After the feed and a clean nappy, he settles himself back to bed before waking up at 7am to kick start the day.

Over a week ago, he started turning and then rolling! There was one morning when I left him right in the middle of the play mat, went to the toilet, came back and found him outside the play mat.

Because of this, we are slowly starting to transition him into a sleeping bag - which means giving him the freedom of his hands! I have also realised that 4 months is actually quite a different stage. Not only is he more mobile now, he is also more vocal. Talking and definitely more aware of the environment. Which makes feeding more challenging too, as he gets easily distracted. 

His hair was starting to look funny. He had long strands on the top, a receding hair line, and bald patches at the back. My mum kept persuading me to shave his head, and so I borrowed a baby shaver kit from a friend, and we did it! We shaved his head ourselves. Little Bambi found it so amusing. 

Anyway, this is what my little Baby Bear looks like now - after we shaved his head! 

xx

Jules

Little Bambi's Presentation

My gorgeous Little Bambi gave a presentation in front of her classmates today, as part of a project they were given prior to school holidays. Her teacher posted a picture of her on the school app, saying it was fabulous, how well she spoke and how she impressed everyone in her class! My heart is bursting with joy, because she is my baby girl and how proud I am to be her mama!

She started school yesterday, after a 2-week break, and I was secretly sad when I dropped her off - because I miss her so much. She was such a pleasure to be with at home, particularly with helping me with Baby Bear. We did heaps of activities together, going out each day, to the shops, library or a trip to the city etc. I will blog more about all the things that we did - to capture the wonderful memories of our time together.

Good night!

xx
Jules

Full Moon

Last weekend we celebrated baby's full moon, which marks baby being 30 days old, and the end of my confinement. It was also one of the hottest weekends we have had all summer, with consecutive days over 30 degrees and Sunday at 39 degrees!

Baby has been putting on lots of weight, which is a sign of him feeding really well. He has also grown darker, and has chocolate skin! I have started him on a routine, but I have vowed not to get too hard on myself or on baby with following the timing etc. 

On Sunday, the weather was so hot that it made all of us quite cranky. We agreed to keep the full moon celebration a lot more simple this time round. For lunch, we had noodles at home, red eggs and ang ku kuih. 

In the evening, we celebrated with dinner at a chinese restaurant with some family and friends. After dinner, we got home, only to discover that we had a power outage at our house. While we expected it to be a small power outage which usually gets restored in 2 hours, turned out to be a disaster, where we had no power for more than 15 hours, in a warm night where it was 35 degrees! While it was really tough for all of us adults in the house, both my kids were unaffected by this, with baby sleeping through the night, and even Little Bambi. It just goes to show how resilient little kids are. 

Once power was restored, we have had a cool change with the weather, and everyone has also cooled down and is less cranky.

Baby at 30 days old

Yesterday I also attended my interview for the Australian citizenship. I passed the test, but I do need to provide further documentation. Darn! Tomorrow Little Bambi has an interview at her primary school, and then she starts her first day of school on Friday! How exciting! My first baby is going to school! Busy week indeed!

Good night!

xx

Jules

Three Weeks Old

Baby is exactly three weeks old now, and while some days seem to go at a very slow pace (particularly with the heat), I know these newborn days do not last long, and soon it will be a distant memory!

As usual, my mum is here to look after me and to kick off the fun times of 'Chinese Confinement'. A few days after coming home from the hospital, my face broke out into hives - swollen and the skin on my face is covered in the tiniest bumpy little red spots. I look at myself in the mirror and don't recognise my face. My skin was so coarse, and of course, I felt as miserable as I look!

To make matters worst, the rash on my baby bump worsens too, and spreads all over the tummy. The itch is unbearable, and coupled with the heat, and my mum's instructions to keep warm at all times, I was in great discomfort. Doctor prescribed me Cortisone for the tummy and antihistamine for my face. Three weeks on, my face is getting better, but the rash has not completely disappeared. Same with the rash on my tummy. I still get little new waves of rashes coming through on my tummy. 

With breastfeeding, of course things are a lot more easier with baby second time round. My milk came in early, on day 4. And this time round, my milk supply has been good. At baby's two week check up with the maternal and child health nurse, he is healthy and putting on lots of weight. We have noticed that baby does look a bit more chubby around the face, and he does feel heavier too.

We dig out our old Tizzie Hall book, and I am reading up again on introducing a routine to baby. The only challenge is that we are moving houses in a few weeks, and Little Bambi is starting school very soon. We do have our own mini routine at the moment, coupled with demand feeding, which has been working quite well. 

One more week to go, which will mark the end of my confinement, baby's 30 day milestone full moon, and when the real action starts - school, house move, my dad arrives and my citizenship interview! HELP!

3 weeks old

Bed time for now!
xx
Jules

Baby is here!

It has been a while since I have written any posts, but the good news is... my baby is here!

It has been a crazy couple of months, which I have no idea where to start.. but for today, I just wanted to note down the arrival of my baby boy!

I finished up at work on Friday 22nd December. As usual, I was rushing to get through some last minute work still, at the eleventh hour! :(

We had a Christmas catch up with my girlfriends that same Friday, which was good fun. The next day, I was booked in for a pregnancy massage at the Intercontinental hotel, a lovely surprise gift from a dear friend. The massage was just perfect. And as I laid down on the massage bed, with the massage therapist, I swear, tears filled up my eyes - feeling so grateful and blessed that I have an amazing support network around me, friends and family caring and always being there for me.

Christmas eve, we were invited to dinner to a friends place, and I noticed my feet were beginning to swell very badly. Apart from the swelling, I developed a mild rash on my face, and also on my baby bump. I started feeling very uncomfortable with the pregnancy - at 37 weeks pregnant.

My brother Dopey arrived Melbourne on Christmas Day, and we picked him up from the airport. Grumpy cooked us a Christmas feast at home, with the most delicious turkey - which he spent at least 2 days prepping.

After Christmas, we take it easy, staying home most of the time. And suddenly, Grumpy decides to have some friends over on Saturday 30th December for lunch. We spent all day Friday food shopping and preparing, but by night time, I started feeling slight tummy cramps - my first sign of contractions! Grumpy and I were thinking, this can't be true, its a bit too early! We are only expecting baby mid-January!

The contractions were not too frequent yet, but there were signs of the mucus plug. At 1am, I rang the hospital, and they said "Take 2 Panadols and try to get some rest". However by 2am, the contractions started to get quite painful, and my water breaks. The hospital said to come in straight away. But first, we had to wait for Dopey to come over to our place and help watch Little Bambi at home. He finally arrives, and at 3am, we make our way up to the birthing suite in the hospital. The pain was severe, and even the walk from the car to the hospital entrance was not easy!

I get hooked up on all sorts of things in the birthing suit, and given laughing gas - which was completely useless. I ask for an epidural immediately, and much to my surprise, the midwife goes "Ok let me organise that for you". The anaesthetist administers the epidural on me, and the pain goes away. What a relief! However in a matter of minutes, baby's heart rate begins to drop, and there were a team of 3 doctors and 3-4 midwives surrounding us, trying to stabilise baby. It was pretty scary. I was only 5cm dilated at that point in time, and my body was shaking vigorously for a good 2 hours - the after effects of the epidural. After they stablised baby's condition, by turning off the epidural... we started noticing that his heart rate drops each time I have a contraction - which again, was quite scary. Doctors kept giving me the option of a C-section, which I just was not prepared for. I had a natural birth with Little Bambi, why would my 2nd baby be any different?

From 3am up to 2.20pm that Saturday, finally baby turned into the right position, and the doctor was able to get him out via forceps. The doctor says the exact same thing when I had Little Bambi, "Good sized baby you have there!" at 3.57kgs and 49 cm. Slightly smaller and lighter than Little Bambi, but he was a week earlier too. He is healthy, and absolutely perfect. I've waited so long for him, he is perfect to me.

I get given a hospital bed, sharing a room with 3 other mums and babies, and spend my first night in hospital. It was not an easy night, with baby being slightly unsettled. My body is sore everywhere, but I struggle with the bleeding the most. Much to my delight, the next morning, I get given the all clear and can go home! Regardless, I still think it was good to spend one night in hospital, the midwives helped me with basic 101s, like swaddling, feeding, changing nappies and even giving baby a bath!

Home time!

Baby at Day 3

My beautiful babies

More thoughts to come.

xx

Jules

Second baby

After more than a year of discussing and planning for a second baby, and 6 months of actively trying to get pregnant, I am really happy to say that I am! 13 weeks pregnant!

It has not been easy this time round. Little Bambi was a breeze, she just turned up, exactly at the time when we decided we were ready for her. But this second baby definitely took its time. I really wanted to get pregnant last year, but in between three big weddings between our closest friends and Dopey my brother (spread across 3 different locations - KL, Gold Coast, Melbourne and KL again), plus a husband that loved partying and celebrating bucks nights, pre-wedding and post-wedding drinks, all I can say was getting pregnant last year was clearly not possible.

Even at the start of this year had its challenges - another wedding of a friend got in the way. Again with Grumpy celebrating a few weekends of binge drinking with his mates. To make matters a lot worse, not long after, Grumpy's best mate from KL came to Melbourne for a holiday. Did I mention that the binge drinking never stopped? Yes of course its all his fault. I was finding it very frustrating.

One thing I did do differently most recently was I used an ovulation kit, and I think maybe that was the winning ticket for us. We are very lucky that we did not have to resort to IVF or anything like that. I missed my period in early May, and I did a home pregnancy test on Mothers Day, and got a positive result!

Little Bambi is very excited to become a big sister. I knew she felt a bit left out when most of her friends had a younger sibling to play with. She wants to name the baby "Dory". Which Sydney Boy said "It is a nice name".. "For a fish".

From the moment of the positive test result at home up until today, it has been a series of continuous blood tests, GP visits, and 2 ultrasound sessions. I am so blessed that everything has been going really well so far. I get very nervous and anxious with the whole pregnancy thing, not only because it was a long journey to get to this point, but because pregnancy loss is much more visible on social media. Here is baby at the 12 week ultrasound - hello there!

Bed time now.

xx

Jules

Bravest Kid

The weather forecast for today said it would be fucking miserable. And really, it was, fucking miserable. It rained non-stop, the wind was so strong, and it was freezing! Yet, I dragged Little Bambi and my mother with me on the train at 7am to the city. I put on the thickest jacket for Little Bambi, along with a beanie to cover her head. We arrived at my office before 8am, and they waited for me in the foyer, while I was upstairs trying to do a bit of work. Then at 9am, we hopped on a tram to our regular dentist for Little Bambi's appointment on Collins Street. 

Once she was lying down on the chair, she watched The Secret Life of Pets from the ceiling. The dentist put on a small mask on her nose for the happy gas, and she was breathing it in, cool as a cucumber. I, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck. The minute I saw the needle for the local anaesthetic, I was dying. And it was not even for me. The dentist asked her to put her hands below her bottom, which she did, and then the anaesthetic was injected to her upper jaw. The dentist did one filling first, then she found a second gap next to the tooth, and asked for my permission to do the second one. Believe me, when your child has a tube attached on her nose (that connects to a gas tank) with a numb face, lying next to a dentist, with dental instruments attached to her hands, asking if they can also fill the second hole, my options are... wait, there are no options. The procedure took forever... I could not bear it, yet Little Bambi stayed calm, happily watching TV on the ceiling. After 45 minutes, we were done, and I was so relieved. She sat up, saying she felt funny in her face. The dentist told her that her teeth and cheeks were having a bit of a rest. 

We walked out of the dentist, with a $610 bill. It certainly was the most expensive 45 minutes I've ever paid for 4.5 year old kid. Ever. Our private health covered more than half of the bill, but still, I had to pay $250. Immediately after that, I walked both mum and Little Bambi to Flinders Street station, said goodbye, where they went back home in the cold rain, and me back to work. My mum had a lunch appointment after that, so she dropped Little Bambi off to childcare. I was so worried about Little Bambi, fearing that she would start feeling some pain as the anaesthetic wears off. However, she went back to childcare surprisingly, happy, pain free, and not even remembering she went to the dentist. Everyone tells me how expensive this place is, which I am aware of, yet I think it was worth my money if she walks out without being scarred from a terrible dentist experience. 

I still remember when I was a kid, my dad would hold my hand, while a dentist extracted a tooth, or install braces. But today, this kid, was the bravest kid I know. I love her so much.

Melbourne

On Friday, I went to work, like any normal day. I had a busy morning and my last meeting ended at 12.30pm. Grumpy said lets have lunch, but I said "No! I'm heading to the gym". Then I added "But.. you can be a gentleman and grab sushi for me. When I am done, I will come and meet you". He agreed.

My usual gym routine during my lunch breaks go for about 1 hr 15 mins, which is made up of my usual 30-minute treadmill run followed by a quick shower, getting dressed, then blow dry my hair, touch up some make up etc. I got a text from Grumpy around 1pm saying "I'm hungry I'm going to get sushi already". And so I cut short my gym time by 10 mins, and finished at exactly 1.30pm. I stepped out of the gym, which was Fitness First on Bourke St Mall (corner of Elizabeth Street). Grumpy was seated on a bench in front of Myer, waiting for me. So I crossed the tram tracks, found him, sat down, and we just enjoyed our sushi's together, under the sun. We heard helicopters above us, and I said "maybe its the tennis?". The time was 1.40pm, and the next thing we knew, a maroon car was driving right before us, only 25 metres away, driving straight into people, on the foot path, and I saw three bodies fly up in the air, and then landing on the ground - motionless. I screamed! I screamed "FUCK!!!!" and Grumpy shielded me, worried there was more coming. Police chase after the maroon car. I saw bodies on the ground, one at the entrance of Block Arcade, one at Cotton On, and one, exactly where I stood only minutes before, at the entrance of my gym. I said to Grumpy, "No one could live through that right? Not when you are hit at such speed, and fly up to the air, and somersault and land on the ground like that..?" It could have been me, because that is exactly where I stood, before I walked to meet Grumpy.

Moments later, Bourke St Mall was in utter mayhem. We decided to head back to work, where it was safe. We ran up on Little Bourke St. When I got to my office, the building was already in lock down mode. Only employees of the bank were allowed to enter the building.

I got to my floor, and my whole body was shaking. My bosses brought me into a room, and I told them exactly what I saw. My office is not far from Bourke St Mall/ Myer, and workmates said they counted up to 10-15 bodies lying on the ground, covered in a pool of blood. My body was shaking for nearly an hour. After that, my tummy was in cramps. I felt sick. 

A counselling session was set up at the ground floor auditorium, which I was asked to attend. I did, and was advised to: (1) talk about it, (2) be emotional if I need to be (3) seek further help if I need it. Most people at work were incredibly supportive. Workmates came to talk to me and asked if I was okay. My friends were texting me and ringing if I was okay. Then I decided I should ring my parents to let them know. I was pretty much in tears when telling my mum what had happened. She said "It is usually something we read in the news or watch on TV, not something that really happened right in our own city, in front our eyes". The entire Melbourne city was shaken. Our hearts were broken. We saw pictures of a broken pram, lying on a street. Innocent people, innocent children. Dopey was in Thailand, and he messaged me "Is there a terrorist attack?"

My head was trying to make sense of the trauma. I was thinking, how different things would have been if Grumpy did not meet me for lunch? If I was not rushed by him, I would have carried on with gym, taken my time, like normal, and stepped out at exactly 1.40pm-1.45pm, which was when the evil person struck. Or even, what if Grumpy met me after gym, and decided we would just eat at our desks and not at the bench, meaning we would be walking back to my office together first, along Bourke St.. where the lunatic then drove along after Bourke St Mall, to continue ramming into people. Maybe both of us would have been run down. Also, we would have been facing the same direction where he was heading, meaning if we were not paying too much attention to our surroundings, we would not have known the attacker was coming from behind. If things were different, who knows, either one of us, or both of us, would never have seen our Little Bambi ever again. Did I give her a hug and a kiss that morning before I left the house? 

Sad.

Good night,

Jules

Six Days Into the New Year

First week into 2017 and already, it feels like forever!

I started work immediately after New Years Day, but Grumpy stayed home an extra week to look after Little Bambi as her creche is still closed. Grumpy took her to watch Sing at the movies, visits to the park to practise cycling her new bike (from Santa), there were two playdates with friends (much to Grumpy's dismay - put it this way, he is not a fan of playdates with 4 year old kids) and today a trip to the city to meet me for lunch, followed by a visit to the Melbourne Museum. Overall, Grumpy did a great job, keeping her occupied. At the end of  today, I asked Little Bambi, "Which was the best part of today?" to which she said "There was no best part, mum, because you were not there at the museum with me". Such simple words yet enough to pierce me right in the heart!

Work has been fairly quiet with most of senior management away. My two other team mates, Miss Narcissist and Mr Egoistic, are both around, and I swear, they have both been doing my head in. As we are all peers in the team, I find everyone constantly trying to outdo each other. Because I am female, Miss Narcissist views me, personally, as a threat, and on the other hand, Mr Egoistic treats females like second class citizens. Yes it is great working with these wonderful people. Also, the team eagerly awaits our new manager who starts next Monday.

This week we were also notified of a family friend who is interested with renting our one bedroom apartment for their son who will be studying at Monash University this year. There are various factors Grumpy and I had to consider, but the most important factor to me, was that we can use this property to put Little Bambi in the school that we want (that comes with school zoning restrictions).

Dopey's permanent move back to Malaysia, and gifted me with the joys of running all sorts of errands for him this week, from returning his Foxtel box to organising for his car service, paying for car registration, insurance, etc.

Little Bambi had her first visit for the year to the Royal Children's Hospital this week as part of her blind clinical trial for peanut allergy - this requires a post of its own!

Today I had to get a blood test today due to previous test results which showed I was low in thyroid levels. I have been taking Thyroxine since, so am hoping for the test results to come back with more positive news.

Tomorrow we attend our neighbour's wedding, with Little Bambi doing her 3rd stint as flower girl.

And finally, to make my nights appear even longer than they should be, I am glued to Netflix dramas. Grumpy and I just finished watching Narcos, and now we are on to The Crown.

How is it possible that so many things can happen in just 6 days into the New Year?

Little Bambi with her friends playing dress up

Good night!
With love, Jules

2016 in review

It has been a crazy year, and that explains my long absence here on my blog. I have not forgotten about my blog, and I still want to keep this as it is where I capture memories, thoughts etc. Sometimes I come back here and reflect on myself, who am I as a person, what defines me. So there you go, my only post for 2016, but looking forward to posting more in new year.

2016 in review:

Weddings and Travel - This has been THE year of weddings. Over the start of 2016, we were in Malaysia celebrating Grumpy's BFF's wedding. Then in April, we travelled to the Gold Coast to celebrate Little-Miss-Bargain-Hunter's wedding (maybe she's not 'Little-Miss' anymore, but rather 'Little-Mrs'). A few months later, it was my brother Dopey's turn to say I Do! Dopey had two weddings, which was twice the fun, but also twice the effort (Melbourne and KL). And now with the wedding festivities over, Grumpy and I will hopefully be able to focus more on getting pregnant (something we have failed for the entire year, much to my disappointment!).

Motherhood and Family - Little Bambi has grown into a gorgeous little 4 year old. She is like my very own best friend, with a strong personality, funny, a bit nuts at times, but usually bubbly and caring. 2016 has been the year with lots of birthday parties with her friends. Most of the parents of her friends Grumpy and I have become quite fond of. However in the new year, majority of her friends will move on to prep, while she stays behind in kindergarten. Next year will be interesting, as we will have to make new friends again with new kids from kindergarten, but the best news I received last week, was that the two educators which will be caring for her in the new year, are the best educators in her childcare. They have cared for Little Bambi before, in the previous years. So yes, while we lose some the friendships we have made over the past 4 years, we have two of the most amazing educators for her final year in childcare before she goes to school, and that beats everything else. 

Work - Work has been interesting and challenging for me. I was given a piece of shitburger around the start of the year, which I had ZERO knowledge on. I took it on, read up on everything I could get my hands on, reached out to others for help, and finally delivered a piece of work that went straight to the regulator. This piece of shitburger then came with the best recognition I have received, from my stakeholders, EVER, in my entire career. To have one of the senior leaders in the bank, write an email on my performance review to my bosses saying that I was 'highly intelligent and one of the high performers in the team' has made me truly humbled and it felt so rewarding! I usually doubt myself, as I have never been a very vocal person in my team, and still new in the world of Risk, I usually try to stay 'low' and under the radar. Later part in the year, again, given a 2nd piece of shitburger, working on a piece of work that could have put anyone to sleep, I was able to take my stakeholders through the journey (which was mandatory across the entire bank), and come out with a very good outcome (where we were reviewed by an external party and given an excellent rating), again, one of the most difficult stakeholders for my team, was happy with my work and made it loud and clear to my boss. I finished up at work last week, feeling relieved and glad I was able to squeeze in a last minute Sydney work trip, and even visit my old Dublin boss, who is now based there. On another note, my previous manager, who was an amazing mentor to me, left the team, and so for the new year, I will have a new manager. Fingers crossed, we will be able to work together as a team, and I will feel supported. 

Okay I have to go now, we are celebrating New Years Eve with friends with teppanyaki! Goodbye 2016, hello 2017!

Much love,
Jules

Kathina ceremony

Three weeks in my new role, and while I like it, there is so much to learn and a lot of it takes time and experience to really understand what is going on. Overall, I am not feeling 110% at the moment. I am due to present at our End of Year wrap up (in front of more than 100 people) on my last day of work (before we fly off to Malaysia) next month. I HATE PUBLIC SPEAKING. I DO, I REALLY HATE IT! Our bosses push us to do it, but I still think if its not for me, it is not for me!

Back at home, we finally completed painting the house! It only took us a good 8 weeks to paint two bedrooms, a hall way, the kitchen and the dining area! I still can't believe we lived with green walls for 8 and a half years. Like seriously, what were we thinking?? It is now 'Natural White'. It looks great. We also replaced the carpets in all the bedrooms. The old carpets were more than 15 years old. Exactly. What were we thinking?

And today, was a special day for Buddhist followers at the Warburton monastery. It is the annual Kathina ceremony, where we get to offer robes to the monks. I was able to get in touch with a lady who organised the robes, and she secured two robes for us, one for myself and one for my brother. I was not sure on how to persuade Grumpy to attend this day with me (as it is a 90 minute drive from home), considering he calls himself, and our child, Christians! But he agreed! Little Bambi was quite excited. She attends church and reads books about the Bible, yet she knows the Buddha and is able to also do some basic Buddhist chanting. We stood in line and offered rice to the monks for their lunch. Grumpy helped Little Bambi offer rice to the monks bowl (melts my heart!). As soon as she was done with the rice offering, she started eating the rice herself!

While we were having our lunch at the monastery, Little Bambi was getting bored and so I agreed to take her to the field for a walk. She enjoyed running around the big open space. As Little Bambi and I were playing and talking, a monk walked past us as he finished his lunch and was returning to keep his bowl. He saw us and then he stopped. He turned around and asked if we wanted ice cream? Of course we want ice cream! The monk then said he had to place it on the ground to pass it to us, which is part of our Buddhist custom. I bowed to the monk and said "Thank you!" We ran back to Grumpy "Guess what? A monk just gave us a Magnum!" HAHA It was funny then but now as I sit down in bed and reflect, I think how incredibly special that was! Very rarely we get offered ice cream by a Buddhist monk!

After we offered the robes, we stopped by at a cherry farm on the way home. 

Grumpy and I, completely clueless to the conditions of entry. We filled up two big buckets with cherries, thinking they were 'free' and part of the $9 entry fee. Hahaha when we were done, we were a further $55 poorer! Damnit! We drove home thinking, WHAT are we going to do with $55 worth of cherries?!?!? Oh well, Little Bambi enjoyed it and we had a pretty eventful day. 

Good night! xx
Jules

Muffin Tray

We arrive at our local swimming pool, just two minutes before class. I usually like to give Little Bambi about half an hour of play time before her swimming lesson. But obviously, there is no time for that. 

Grumpy unlocks her car seat belt and lifts her down to the ground. Little Bambi, all ready and dressed up in her bathing suit, she holds on to a muffin tray, for dear life.

Grumpy "LITTLE BAMBI, YOU CAN'T take your baking tray to the swimming pool!!!!!"

Little Bambi "BUT I WANT TO TAKE MY BAKING TRAY to the swimming pool!!!!!!"

Me (looking at the time) "JUST LET HER TAKE THE BAKING TRAY TO THE SWIMMING POOL!!!!!!!!"

She finally jumps into the pool with her swimming instructor and her friends, showing off her baking tray. 

One of the mums come to me and goes "What an interesting toy to bring to the swimming pool?!!!!"

"Oh god don't ask!"

Just a regular Saturday morning with the family!

Promotion

Work - I finally got the promotion I have been waiting for!! It was all dependant on this guy Arthur, leaving his role to work in a different department. I will be taking over Arthur's old role. There were no interviews (which was GOOD! But I did apply for a different role in that same team earlier in the year and was unsuccessful at that time). I do not have a start date yet, or details of a pay rise. Regardless I am very happy with the outcome. 

Yoga - YES! A crow pose, baby! It took a good three months of practice to hold myself up on my palms. It all happened on Grand Final Friday. I went for a morning class where the instructor did heaps of upper arm strengths variations. I attempted the crow pose there, but it did not work. Yet I felt I was ready. I got home, pulled out my mat again, gave it a shot and it worked! It felt effortless. I was extremely proud of myself! Grumpy and Little Bambi on the other hand, did not share the same level of excitement as I did. But whatever, I finally did the bakasana! Next up, a side crow!

Crow pose (bakasana)

Money - As much as I love yoga, it is not a cheap practice and I simply cannot afford paying for both yoga classes and my gym membership simultaneously. My monthly yoga pass has expired and I have another 6 months to go on my Fitness First contract. Sadly, I have to continue with the gym as it is the cheaper option. Boo!

Family - Now that winter is over, we finally made it to the beach for the first time since winter. Little Bambi absolutely loved it! Having said that, we have not had much luck with swimming lessons. The previous three lessons comprised of this same girl, screaming and crying during the entire lesson, for all three lessons.

Loving the warmer weather

Friends - Sydney boy spent the weekend in Melbourne and Little-Miss-Whats-For-Lunch and I decided to meet him for breakfast on a Saturday morning. This is at The Grain Store, and the food was absolutely delicious.

Bed time!

Good night xx Jules

Patience

The past couple of months have been extremely busy.

Work is going really well. I really do enjoy what I am doing, the team that I am working with and all the new things I am learning. However, I am still impatiently waiting for the promotion I was promised. It still has not happened yet, and while I am doubtful, there is still a glimmer of hope that it could happen before year end. Sometimes I think maybe I should just leave, find another role that pays more. Yet, it is the people that I work with that makes a difference. They are a lovely bunch, very smart and friendly. I just need to be a bit more patient. 

Little Bambi and I travelled to Malaysia in July for a two week holiday. During my time in Malaysia, I got hooked on yoga. I used to do Body Balance in the gym and declared myself a yoga enthusiast. I was confident and told myself I was good at it. Boy, was I wrong. Now that I am doing yoga alone, I realised I never mastered the basics to begin with. To help improve my yoga practice, I decided to freeze my Fitness First membership and signed up for a month of unlimited classes at a yoga teacher training school. I am not doing yoga teacher training per se, but they do normal classes as well. I would actually love to do teacher training. If only I could afford the $7k fee (and time and commitment, i.e. potentially lose my day job). The best part of my yoga classes is my incredibly handsome male instructor. Did I mention he was Irish? Haha.

While I embrace yoga in recent months, I have also decided it is time for Little Bambi to start her swimming lessons again after her first attempt when she was 6 months old. We did not start off on the right foot back then, and unfortunately it seems like the tables have not turned. She is still crying in every class, and only wants to play in the baby pool! OH MY! I am a good swimmer (this one I stand by strongly, unlike my previous yoga claim). I have been swimming since I was a child (being the daughter of a navy captain). Swimming is very much in my DNA. I love it. And the funny part is that my daughter absolutely hates it. 

Since we returned from Malaysia, I have also started baking my own sourdough bread. It is quite an interesting process. It is not hard to bake your own bread. Just requires a bit of planning and patience. Lots of patience. Just like Little Bambi and her swimming lessons. 

Patience Jules, patience. 

And finally, just quickly, to follow up from my previous post, Little Bambi's third laser attempt has been a huge success! The birthmark is no longer visible and it appears that she has recovered so well from it. There is no scaring and the skin colour has adjusted back to normal. 

Okay, time to hit the sack now.

Good night!

Bravery

It is that time of the year again for Little Bambi to undergo laser treatment at the Royal Children's Hospital for the birthmark on her face. I dread it so much, I really do. Today was her third laser treatment and it was an real tough one for all of us, especially me.

Back in 2013, at 10 months, her first treatment. The doctors missed a portion of her birthmark from laser, citing reasons that it was not visible under theatre lighting. I know, it was a WTF moment for me.

One year later, at 20 months, her second round of laser. The doctors treated the entire birthmark. By then, 2/3 of the birthmark had been treated twice, while the remaining 1/3 only treated once. Overall, Little Bambi responded really well to laser treatment, and the entire birthmark is hardly noticeable at all. Doctors advised that she does not need any further treatment. They left the decision to me, for a third round to treat the small leftover area.

The decision for round three was difficult. Do I put my gorgeous little girl through the ordeal of laser and general anaesthetic again? For something so small? Was it even worth it?

I decided to delay the procedure to later this year. I told the doctors I needed time. Time was not something I could easily buy considering there was a 12 month waiting list for admission to operating theatre. I thought of Little Bambi, and considered the possibility of treatment much later, maybe when she's 5 or 6 years old. But then, 5 or 6 means she would remember it. For life! I then considered the doctors and the current government. We had both treatments completely bulk billed. I will not be surprised if at some stage the rules change and it comes at a cost. While cost should not be a factor, the level of care (apart from the area of the birthmark they missed) Little Bambi has received at the Royal Children Hospital has been excellent.

So there you go, I decided to proceed with the third round, despite differing opinions from Grumpy and my parents. I also wanted it done sooner rather than later. I wanted it done before her 3rd birthday and during winter, when there's less sun (for recovery). I had to negotiate with a lady at the hospital for Little Bambi to be brought forward in the waiting list. Then next up was for my mum to organise her flights so that she can be here for Little Bambi's recovery. Oh and lets not forget, convincing my family that this was the right thing to do. Was it?

Today entailed my mum and I waking up at 2am to feed Little Bambi milk. I then woke up at 4.30am, for some quiet time by myself with a hot cup of tea in hand. Calm before the storm. At 6am, I woke Little Bambi up, and fed her some juice. This was her last drink before fasting. By 6.30am we were out the house and at the hospital by 7am. My heart was aching. All week I explained to Little Bambi about the doctors putting a mask on her face and taking a short nap. She did not understand why but she accepted it, hesitantly. "Is the doctor checking me for my peanut allergy, mummy?" "I love you to the moon and back my gorgeous girl!"

At the hospital, waiting for her turn.

Because of her age, we waited forever for her turn. Young babies go in first, older ones go later.    Finally at 10.15am, they called us in. The anaesthetist was with us when the nurse handed me a gown for Little Bambi to change. As I took her clothes off, she said to me "Mummy, I want to keep my undies!" That definitely made the doctors laugh. Once we went inside the theatre, it was a completely different story. I don't blame her. A cold room with machines, and at least ten people all dressed up staring at you. She refused to lie down on the bed, making it more difficult for the gas to work. She fought the doctors hard when the mask was placed on her face, and it took about 4 people to hold her still. My heart ached. The anaesthetist assured me only the intelligent ones fight back. When she finally went to sleep, I walked out the theatre asking myself WHY?!

Finally at 11am, it was done. They called us in and Little Bambi is awake. She is disorientated and of course she's crying for me. I try my best to console her. I hold her close to me, tight. The nurse offers her an icy pole, and that makes everything better. Her appetite is back, and she enjoys some sandwiches with apple juice. I look at the eye, and this time round, the doctors have treated not only the remaining 1/3 of the birthmark, they treated small areas of the entire birthmark. I am not sure if I agree with that, although my mum assures me it was probably a good move. There is always a risk of discolouration.

Its over!

The swelling at her eye is quite bad. Did I mention how much it breaks my heart? Apart from the swelling, she is back to her cheerful self. My baby deserves the outstanding award for bravery. Well, my baby and all the other kids at the hospital today.