Baby is here!

It has been a while since I have written any posts, but the good news is... my baby is here!

It has been a crazy couple of months, which I have no idea where to start.. but for today, I just wanted to note down the arrival of my baby boy!

I finished up at work on Friday 22nd December. As usual, I was rushing to get through some last minute work still, at the eleventh hour! :(

We had a Christmas catch up with my girlfriends that same Friday, which was good fun. The next day, I was booked in for a pregnancy massage at the Intercontinental hotel, a lovely surprise gift from a dear friend. The massage was just perfect. And as I laid down on the massage bed, with the massage therapist, I swear, tears filled up my eyes - feeling so grateful and blessed that I have an amazing support network around me, friends and family caring and always being there for me.

Christmas eve, we were invited to dinner to a friends place, and I noticed my feet were beginning to swell very badly. Apart from the swelling, I developed a mild rash on my face, and also on my baby bump. I started feeling very uncomfortable with the pregnancy - at 37 weeks pregnant.

My brother Dopey arrived Melbourne on Christmas Day, and we picked him up from the airport. Grumpy cooked us a Christmas feast at home, with the most delicious turkey - which he spent at least 2 days prepping.

After Christmas, we take it easy, staying home most of the time. And suddenly, Grumpy decides to have some friends over on Saturday 30th December for lunch. We spent all day Friday food shopping and preparing, but by night time, I started feeling slight tummy cramps - my first sign of contractions! Grumpy and I were thinking, this can't be true, its a bit too early! We are only expecting baby mid-January!

The contractions were not too frequent yet, but there were signs of the mucus plug. At 1am, I rang the hospital, and they said "Take 2 Panadols and try to get some rest". However by 2am, the contractions started to get quite painful, and my water breaks. The hospital said to come in straight away. But first, we had to wait for Dopey to come over to our place and help watch Little Bambi at home. He finally arrives, and at 3am, we make our way up to the birthing suite in the hospital. The pain was severe, and even the walk from the car to the hospital entrance was not easy!

I get hooked up on all sorts of things in the birthing suit, and given laughing gas - which was completely useless. I ask for an epidural immediately, and much to my surprise, the midwife goes "Ok let me organise that for you". The anaesthetist administers the epidural on me, and the pain goes away. What a relief! However in a matter of minutes, baby's heart rate begins to drop, and there were a team of 3 doctors and 3-4 midwives surrounding us, trying to stabilise baby. It was pretty scary. I was only 5cm dilated at that point in time, and my body was shaking vigorously for a good 2 hours - the after effects of the epidural. After they stablised baby's condition, by turning off the epidural... we started noticing that his heart rate drops each time I have a contraction - which again, was quite scary. Doctors kept giving me the option of a C-section, which I just was not prepared for. I had a natural birth with Little Bambi, why would my 2nd baby be any different?

From 3am up to 2.20pm that Saturday, finally baby turned into the right position, and the doctor was able to get him out via forceps. The doctor says the exact same thing when I had Little Bambi, "Good sized baby you have there!" at 3.57kgs and 49 cm. Slightly smaller and lighter than Little Bambi, but he was a week earlier too. He is healthy, and absolutely perfect. I've waited so long for him, he is perfect to me.

I get given a hospital bed, sharing a room with 3 other mums and babies, and spend my first night in hospital. It was not an easy night, with baby being slightly unsettled. My body is sore everywhere, but I struggle with the bleeding the most. Much to my delight, the next morning, I get given the all clear and can go home! Regardless, I still think it was good to spend one night in hospital, the midwives helped me with basic 101s, like swaddling, feeding, changing nappies and even giving baby a bath!

Home time!

Baby at Day 3

My beautiful babies

More thoughts to come.

xx

Jules

Second baby

After more than a year of discussing and planning for a second baby, and 6 months of actively trying to get pregnant, I am really happy to say that I am! 13 weeks pregnant!

It has not been easy this time round. Little Bambi was a breeze, she just turned up, exactly at the time when we decided we were ready for her. But this second baby definitely took its time. I really wanted to get pregnant last year, but in between three big weddings between our closest friends and Dopey my brother (spread across 3 different locations - KL, Gold Coast, Melbourne and KL again), plus a husband that loved partying and celebrating bucks nights, pre-wedding and post-wedding drinks, all I can say was getting pregnant last year was clearly not possible.

Even at the start of this year had its challenges - another wedding of a friend got in the way. Again with Grumpy celebrating a few weekends of binge drinking with his mates. To make matters a lot worse, not long after, Grumpy's best mate from KL came to Melbourne for a holiday. Did I mention that the binge drinking never stopped? Yes of course its all his fault. I was finding it very frustrating.

One thing I did do differently most recently was I used an ovulation kit, and I think maybe that was the winning ticket for us. We are very lucky that we did not have to resort to IVF or anything like that. I missed my period in early May, and I did a home pregnancy test on Mothers Day, and got a positive result!

Little Bambi is very excited to become a big sister. I knew she felt a bit left out when most of her friends had a younger sibling to play with. She wants to name the baby "Dory". Which Sydney Boy said "It is a nice name".. "For a fish".

From the moment of the positive test result at home up until today, it has been a series of continuous blood tests, GP visits, and 2 ultrasound sessions. I am so blessed that everything has been going really well so far. I get very nervous and anxious with the whole pregnancy thing, not only because it was a long journey to get to this point, but because pregnancy loss is much more visible on social media. Here is baby at the 12 week ultrasound - hello there!

Bed time now.

xx

Jules

Bravest Kid

The weather forecast for today said it would be fucking miserable. And really, it was, fucking miserable. It rained non-stop, the wind was so strong, and it was freezing! Yet, I dragged Little Bambi and my mother with me on the train at 7am to the city. I put on the thickest jacket for Little Bambi, along with a beanie to cover her head. We arrived at my office before 8am, and they waited for me in the foyer, while I was upstairs trying to do a bit of work. Then at 9am, we hopped on a tram to our regular dentist for Little Bambi's appointment on Collins Street. 

Once she was lying down on the chair, she watched The Secret Life of Pets from the ceiling. The dentist put on a small mask on her nose for the happy gas, and she was breathing it in, cool as a cucumber. I, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck. The minute I saw the needle for the local anaesthetic, I was dying. And it was not even for me. The dentist asked her to put her hands below her bottom, which she did, and then the anaesthetic was injected to her upper jaw. The dentist did one filling first, then she found a second gap next to the tooth, and asked for my permission to do the second one. Believe me, when your child has a tube attached on her nose (that connects to a gas tank) with a numb face, lying next to a dentist, with dental instruments attached to her hands, asking if they can also fill the second hole, my options are... wait, there are no options. The procedure took forever... I could not bear it, yet Little Bambi stayed calm, happily watching TV on the ceiling. After 45 minutes, we were done, and I was so relieved. She sat up, saying she felt funny in her face. The dentist told her that her teeth and cheeks were having a bit of a rest. 

We walked out of the dentist, with a $610 bill. It certainly was the most expensive 45 minutes I've ever paid for 4.5 year old kid. Ever. Our private health covered more than half of the bill, but still, I had to pay $250. Immediately after that, I walked both mum and Little Bambi to Flinders Street station, said goodbye, where they went back home in the cold rain, and me back to work. My mum had a lunch appointment after that, so she dropped Little Bambi off to childcare. I was so worried about Little Bambi, fearing that she would start feeling some pain as the anaesthetic wears off. However, she went back to childcare surprisingly, happy, pain free, and not even remembering she went to the dentist. Everyone tells me how expensive this place is, which I am aware of, yet I think it was worth my money if she walks out without being scarred from a terrible dentist experience. 

I still remember when I was a kid, my dad would hold my hand, while a dentist extracted a tooth, or install braces. But today, this kid, was the bravest kid I know. I love her so much.

Melbourne

On Friday, I went to work, like any normal day. I had a busy morning and my last meeting ended at 12.30pm. Grumpy said lets have lunch, but I said "No! I'm heading to the gym". Then I added "But.. you can be a gentleman and grab sushi for me. When I am done, I will come and meet you". He agreed.

My usual gym routine during my lunch breaks go for about 1 hr 15 mins, which is made up of my usual 30-minute treadmill run followed by a quick shower, getting dressed, then blow dry my hair, touch up some make up etc. I got a text from Grumpy around 1pm saying "I'm hungry I'm going to get sushi already". And so I cut short my gym time by 10 mins, and finished at exactly 1.30pm. I stepped out of the gym, which was Fitness First on Bourke St Mall (corner of Elizabeth Street). Grumpy was seated on a bench in front of Myer, waiting for me. So I crossed the tram tracks, found him, sat down, and we just enjoyed our sushi's together, under the sun. We heard helicopters above us, and I said "maybe its the tennis?". The time was 1.40pm, and the next thing we knew, a maroon car was driving right before us, only 25 metres away, driving straight into people, on the foot path, and I saw three bodies fly up in the air, and then landing on the ground - motionless. I screamed! I screamed "FUCK!!!!" and Grumpy shielded me, worried there was more coming. Police chase after the maroon car. I saw bodies on the ground, one at the entrance of Block Arcade, one at Cotton On, and one, exactly where I stood only minutes before, at the entrance of my gym. I said to Grumpy, "No one could live through that right? Not when you are hit at such speed, and fly up to the air, and somersault and land on the ground like that..?" It could have been me, because that is exactly where I stood, before I walked to meet Grumpy.

Moments later, Bourke St Mall was in utter mayhem. We decided to head back to work, where it was safe. We ran up on Little Bourke St. When I got to my office, the building was already in lock down mode. Only employees of the bank were allowed to enter the building.

I got to my floor, and my whole body was shaking. My bosses brought me into a room, and I told them exactly what I saw. My office is not far from Bourke St Mall/ Myer, and workmates said they counted up to 10-15 bodies lying on the ground, covered in a pool of blood. My body was shaking for nearly an hour. After that, my tummy was in cramps. I felt sick. 

A counselling session was set up at the ground floor auditorium, which I was asked to attend. I did, and was advised to: (1) talk about it, (2) be emotional if I need to be (3) seek further help if I need it. Most people at work were incredibly supportive. Workmates came to talk to me and asked if I was okay. My friends were texting me and ringing if I was okay. Then I decided I should ring my parents to let them know. I was pretty much in tears when telling my mum what had happened. She said "It is usually something we read in the news or watch on TV, not something that really happened right in our own city, in front our eyes". The entire Melbourne city was shaken. Our hearts were broken. We saw pictures of a broken pram, lying on a street. Innocent people, innocent children. Dopey was in Thailand, and he messaged me "Is there a terrorist attack?"

My head was trying to make sense of the trauma. I was thinking, how different things would have been if Grumpy did not meet me for lunch? If I was not rushed by him, I would have carried on with gym, taken my time, like normal, and stepped out at exactly 1.40pm-1.45pm, which was when the evil person struck. Or even, what if Grumpy met me after gym, and decided we would just eat at our desks and not at the bench, meaning we would be walking back to my office together first, along Bourke St.. where the lunatic then drove along after Bourke St Mall, to continue ramming into people. Maybe both of us would have been run down. Also, we would have been facing the same direction where he was heading, meaning if we were not paying too much attention to our surroundings, we would not have known the attacker was coming from behind. If things were different, who knows, either one of us, or both of us, would never have seen our Little Bambi ever again. Did I give her a hug and a kiss that morning before I left the house? 

Sad.

Good night,

Jules

Six Days Into the New Year

First week into 2017 and already, it feels like forever!

I started work immediately after New Years Day, but Grumpy stayed home an extra week to look after Little Bambi as her creche is still closed. Grumpy took her to watch Sing at the movies, visits to the park to practise cycling her new bike (from Santa), there were two playdates with friends (much to Grumpy's dismay - put it this way, he is not a fan of playdates with 4 year old kids) and today a trip to the city to meet me for lunch, followed by a visit to the Melbourne Museum. Overall, Grumpy did a great job, keeping her occupied. At the end of  today, I asked Little Bambi, "Which was the best part of today?" to which she said "There was no best part, mum, because you were not there at the museum with me". Such simple words yet enough to pierce me right in the heart!

Work has been fairly quiet with most of senior management away. My two other team mates, Miss Narcissist and Mr Egoistic, are both around, and I swear, they have both been doing my head in. As we are all peers in the team, I find everyone constantly trying to outdo each other. Because I am female, Miss Narcissist views me, personally, as a threat, and on the other hand, Mr Egoistic treats females like second class citizens. Yes it is great working with these wonderful people. Also, the team eagerly awaits our new manager who starts next Monday.

This week we were also notified of a family friend who is interested with renting our one bedroom apartment for their son who will be studying at Monash University this year. There are various factors Grumpy and I had to consider, but the most important factor to me, was that we can use this property to put Little Bambi in the school that we want (that comes with school zoning restrictions).

Dopey's permanent move back to Malaysia, and gifted me with the joys of running all sorts of errands for him this week, from returning his Foxtel box to organising for his car service, paying for car registration, insurance, etc.

Little Bambi had her first visit for the year to the Royal Children's Hospital this week as part of her blind clinical trial for peanut allergy - this requires a post of its own!

Today I had to get a blood test today due to previous test results which showed I was low in thyroid levels. I have been taking Thyroxine since, so am hoping for the test results to come back with more positive news.

Tomorrow we attend our neighbour's wedding, with Little Bambi doing her 3rd stint as flower girl.

And finally, to make my nights appear even longer than they should be, I am glued to Netflix dramas. Grumpy and I just finished watching Narcos, and now we are on to The Crown.

How is it possible that so many things can happen in just 6 days into the New Year?

Little Bambi with her friends playing dress up

Good night!
With love, Jules

2016 in review

It has been a crazy year, and that explains my long absence here on my blog. I have not forgotten about my blog, and I still want to keep this as it is where I capture memories, thoughts etc. Sometimes I come back here and reflect on myself, who am I as a person, what defines me. So there you go, my only post for 2016, but looking forward to posting more in new year.

2016 in review:

Weddings and Travel - This has been THE year of weddings. Over the start of 2016, we were in Malaysia celebrating Grumpy's BFF's wedding. Then in April, we travelled to the Gold Coast to celebrate Little-Miss-Bargain-Hunter's wedding (maybe she's not 'Little-Miss' anymore, but rather 'Little-Mrs'). A few months later, it was my brother Dopey's turn to say I Do! Dopey had two weddings, which was twice the fun, but also twice the effort (Melbourne and KL). And now with the wedding festivities over, Grumpy and I will hopefully be able to focus more on getting pregnant (something we have failed for the entire year, much to my disappointment!).

Motherhood and Family - Little Bambi has grown into a gorgeous little 4 year old. She is like my very own best friend, with a strong personality, funny, a bit nuts at times, but usually bubbly and caring. 2016 has been the year with lots of birthday parties with her friends. Most of the parents of her friends Grumpy and I have become quite fond of. However in the new year, majority of her friends will move on to prep, while she stays behind in kindergarten. Next year will be interesting, as we will have to make new friends again with new kids from kindergarten, but the best news I received last week, was that the two educators which will be caring for her in the new year, are the best educators in her childcare. They have cared for Little Bambi before, in the previous years. So yes, while we lose some the friendships we have made over the past 4 years, we have two of the most amazing educators for her final year in childcare before she goes to school, and that beats everything else. 

Work - Work has been interesting and challenging for me. I was given a piece of shitburger around the start of the year, which I had ZERO knowledge on. I took it on, read up on everything I could get my hands on, reached out to others for help, and finally delivered a piece of work that went straight to the regulator. This piece of shitburger then came with the best recognition I have received, from my stakeholders, EVER, in my entire career. To have one of the senior leaders in the bank, write an email on my performance review to my bosses saying that I was 'highly intelligent and one of the high performers in the team' has made me truly humbled and it felt so rewarding! I usually doubt myself, as I have never been a very vocal person in my team, and still new in the world of Risk, I usually try to stay 'low' and under the radar. Later part in the year, again, given a 2nd piece of shitburger, working on a piece of work that could have put anyone to sleep, I was able to take my stakeholders through the journey (which was mandatory across the entire bank), and come out with a very good outcome (where we were reviewed by an external party and given an excellent rating), again, one of the most difficult stakeholders for my team, was happy with my work and made it loud and clear to my boss. I finished up at work last week, feeling relieved and glad I was able to squeeze in a last minute Sydney work trip, and even visit my old Dublin boss, who is now based there. On another note, my previous manager, who was an amazing mentor to me, left the team, and so for the new year, I will have a new manager. Fingers crossed, we will be able to work together as a team, and I will feel supported. 

Okay I have to go now, we are celebrating New Years Eve with friends with teppanyaki! Goodbye 2016, hello 2017!

Much love,
Jules

Kathina ceremony

Three weeks in my new role, and while I like it, there is so much to learn and a lot of it takes time and experience to really understand what is going on. Overall, I am not feeling 110% at the moment. I am due to present at our End of Year wrap up (in front of more than 100 people) on my last day of work (before we fly off to Malaysia) next month. I HATE PUBLIC SPEAKING. I DO, I REALLY HATE IT! Our bosses push us to do it, but I still think if its not for me, it is not for me!

Back at home, we finally completed painting the house! It only took us a good 8 weeks to paint two bedrooms, a hall way, the kitchen and the dining area! I still can't believe we lived with green walls for 8 and a half years. Like seriously, what were we thinking?? It is now 'Natural White'. It looks great. We also replaced the carpets in all the bedrooms. The old carpets were more than 15 years old. Exactly. What were we thinking?

And today, was a special day for Buddhist followers at the Warburton monastery. It is the annual Kathina ceremony, where we get to offer robes to the monks. I was able to get in touch with a lady who organised the robes, and she secured two robes for us, one for myself and one for my brother. I was not sure on how to persuade Grumpy to attend this day with me (as it is a 90 minute drive from home), considering he calls himself, and our child, Christians! But he agreed! Little Bambi was quite excited. She attends church and reads books about the Bible, yet she knows the Buddha and is able to also do some basic Buddhist chanting. We stood in line and offered rice to the monks for their lunch. Grumpy helped Little Bambi offer rice to the monks bowl (melts my heart!). As soon as she was done with the rice offering, she started eating the rice herself!

While we were having our lunch at the monastery, Little Bambi was getting bored and so I agreed to take her to the field for a walk. She enjoyed running around the big open space. As Little Bambi and I were playing and talking, a monk walked past us as he finished his lunch and was returning to keep his bowl. He saw us and then he stopped. He turned around and asked if we wanted ice cream? Of course we want ice cream! The monk then said he had to place it on the ground to pass it to us, which is part of our Buddhist custom. I bowed to the monk and said "Thank you!" We ran back to Grumpy "Guess what? A monk just gave us a Magnum!" HAHA It was funny then but now as I sit down in bed and reflect, I think how incredibly special that was! Very rarely we get offered ice cream by a Buddhist monk!

After we offered the robes, we stopped by at a cherry farm on the way home. 

Grumpy and I, completely clueless to the conditions of entry. We filled up two big buckets with cherries, thinking they were 'free' and part of the $9 entry fee. Hahaha when we were done, we were a further $55 poorer! Damnit! We drove home thinking, WHAT are we going to do with $55 worth of cherries?!?!? Oh well, Little Bambi enjoyed it and we had a pretty eventful day. 

Good night! xx
Jules